Stop This Train

As a Dad-to-be in just over 3 weeks, I spend inumerous moments contemplating my "getting older/grayer/responsible(er)/wiser/boring(er)". It's a pretty overwhelming thought if you give in to it and can certainly lead to sleepless nights and cold sweats and tempers flared because it's SO unsure. It's so foggy 10 ft in front of me...and by "10 ft" I mean longer than a year from now.

So much of my days lately have been spent in preperation for the future. Life insurance, getting out of debt, the list goes on and on. Even the plans for family life with Adler around...daycare? Kristine @ home? what can we afford...it's all very daunting and makes me feel like there's no way I'm only 27. I must be 36. seriously.

But as I reviewed the new John Mayer album a few weeks ago, I came accross a song that is my current anthem. This is nice, because a lot of the time I feel like my anthem is the theme music to "Super Mario Bros #1 Level 2 when there's only 1 minute left"...hectic. Anyway, the song is "Stop This Train" and is all about the fear of growing up..."I'm only good at being youg" is kind of my theme right now, to the point that I know I'm so good at being goofy and kid-like. Heck, even at work I'm referred to as "young Stephen" because most there are older than me, but I'm quickly catching up given my forthcoming fatherhood, especially since most of the folks I work with don't have kids (but are older). The inspiring part of the song is when John has the conversation with his Dad and he basically says "John, you'll never figure it out...just wait, try being 68...don't ever stop the train cause the ride does nothing but get better."

So, that's my song...I'm excited about my "oldness", about being a Dad, because I know that maturity isn't necessarily abstaning from goofy behavior...at least for me, it will mean being more responsible and raising a young man to know how to respect others, but to also have fun and hopefully to have a light heart, and most of all to love God with a child like faith.